Why was I trading this actual moment for a perceived future that brought me nothing but stress? It was in this moment that my senses were heightened and I realized just how real now is.
By the time I reached my mother, she was nearly unresponsive. She would open her eyes when I spoke but then they immediately rolled back into her head. The nurses said it was the morphine. Supposedly she could still hear me.
Once she was unresponsive, she did not eat or drink. There were no feeding tubes as this was hospice and, well, she was there to die.
I was walking to the church office at Oak Park one day this past summer. Stepping out of the center stairwell, I saw what I thought was a large bug or insect banging against the glass of the center atrium. Stopping to make sure it wasn’t something that would get me, I realized that it wasn’t an insect at all but instead a hummingbird. I carefully walked up to it ensure that it wouldn’t dart away.
Recently, a thunderstorm kept my family and me inside for most of the day. We had hoped to watch my middle daughter play in her last softball game and the kids were so disappointed that there would be no game, no swimming at the pool or playing outside with friends. We had had a busy week wrapping up school, class parties and my husband had just returned from almost a week of out of town travel. Even so, the kids stood at the windows watching the wind and raindrops smack the glass with sad little faces - frustrated that their day had been “ruined".
There are everyday reasons that we may start to feel overwhelmed as Christmas comes near: presents to buy, food to bake, worries about finances, etc. We can be so busy trying to do everything we feel we have to do, that we don’t stop and be still long enough to truly enjoy the advent season and experience how God is working in it.